My Muse,The Foreseen Unseen

The Foreseen Unseen is now in front of me. I am realizing that I once stammered deeply and spiritually to see the thing I longed for.  I longed for the connection to the Unseen, the once unknown, seen.  Now waking this morning to see and know the previously  unseen is stumbled upon, barefoot, raw and real. I mean-fully understood you were there and with me. I knew that you existed but just not to the depth I feel your presence now.
I now know I can talk to you and ask you questions, well within my power, to know you are there.  Your silent presence was mysterious and daunting. Surrounded by mystery and questions.  Most of us in this family of origin dare not ask, nor probably wanted to deeply understand the power within your soul.  Your strength and comfort has been there all along.  Undying despite the face of this earth despite the parts of time that have passed.  It has been clearer to me that we feared the thing we didn't understand and the comfort in ignorance kept you in mystery, shrouded in doubt and disbelief.  I see you now.  I feel your presence and feel your whisper in the ear of my soul.  Guiding me and encouraging me along the way.  Now looking back, I think the doubt of my own kept me from hearing you and recognizing your whispers and comfort.

Thankfully now I see the penny you left me, the feather in my path and the comfort of your presence in a typically unfriendly world, brings me comfort and love. I am now able to see you and love you and appreciate you for that gift. I am mindful of it in a fraction of time, almost fleeting throughout the day.  The discussion of such a knowing would have previously been taboo.  Should you have ever expected us to complete this pact?  How could we not succeed, really?  We were always deeply connected and yet terribly disconnected by our roles, our dances and our duties in this lifetime!  This knowing brings a smile to my face and heart.  Thinking of you being with me when I made such ridiculous mistakes and blunders, shaking your head and wringing your hands at my folly.  You knew we would arrive in this place. You knew that such a pact was destined to be fulfilled.  I get it now.  Why you thought I was a pest when I was younger, why your heart was tender to me when I cried.  I get that you know my daughter's tears like no other.  I get it that you are mindful and omnipresent. I am grateful.  Your large hands are warm and strong. Worn knuckles from dragging for centuries and lifetimes of duty and persistence.  The others never really understood you.  They made it something far more complex than it really was.  All along clearly, you were just different and not of this world.  Uniquely destined to be the invisible super hero to me.  The guide and comfort of my trials.  Your choices and agreements baffled others deeply.  I see their confusion.  I do not share it.  I get you in a way that once was just an unspoken sense.  What a force to be reckoned with...you and I in tandem and as a team!
I am confident with you by my side that I am able to move mountains, heal and do miracles.  When actually, you have been with me during my darkest Wonder Woman moments of monumental miracles in my adult life! Oh now I see it! How wonderful!  I long to feel your arms around me, your hand on my shoulder, or hearing your voice whisper to me "I have your back Ann!".
Your path was one of sensitivity, locked into a tormented over-sensitivity to others.  Your shoulders bore great judgement but mostly upon yourself!  You visited the dark side of life and bitterness.  You ate the bitter from the dark side, you sang the saddest songs in your heart.  Your willingness and duty to your forefathers and family were honorable and complete. We have both graduated from that agreement.  I feel your habits, I know your tastes and I have run the mile you ran.  Here it is the eve of our greatest similarities. Your deep dark inner self, resonates with my soul.  Your piercing blue eyes and furrowed brow. The smell of your coat, even the size of your shoes is close at hand in my memory!  The strong jawline of distinction and honor in a line of valor and standing.  To have you stand by my side is one of the proudest moments in my life! You carry the pieces of our father and brothers and mother. Our ancestors and lineage is detailed and you are a shining example of that make up.
Your shoulders were once heavy with the mundane and it drove you to the sad dark times of frustration. I welcome you to sit next to me as I write and make your words known, be my muse.  There is no other that I would invite to compose stories, almost as a possessed musician, letting words heal us and others, feeding me the language, teaching me the insight that you have gained in the observer and protector roll.
I never would have thought twelve years ago I would be saying this to you and the world but here it goes.  Richard, I call upon you to come journey with me to complete this task, find your voice in my writing, learn as I learn and feel the freedom that only the universe can provide in fulfilling our purpose in each other's journeys. My twin, the unusual one.  Our blackness as sheep stands against the path of enlightening wisdom.  Now looking back we can find the purpose in our agreements. Here in this moment I feel your strength and feel the reeling insight in our similarities and talents.  You had only to write in that lifetime and you would have been a monumental teacher and healer, feeling the power of words and love and purpose.  Now we can accomplish this together and have the moment of glory and joy together.

You know us each, deeply and spiritually. You are our protector and comfort and strength. Unseen to them and me before, now seen and honored. Ready and willing to begin...pen in hand! Sit next to me!