Just beccause...

There seems to be this piece of me that keeps track of parts of my life that are out of balance. Once in a while I can see this part and hear it's tappings on my consciousness. It is a bit Edgar Allen Poe, but makes sense when so much runs quickly through my mind and my days.

It's as if I beleive I can manage it all and keep things in check. Then I get the message that things are on "tilt" and I hit the eject button to once again put my feet on the ground. I hear the cries of need and want from parts of my life and people in my life. I choose once again to climb into my ride of believing that I can juggle it all and and make it make sense. There isn't much that doesn't make me halt except this "tilt".

Like a hamster on a wheel, running, picking up speed and gaining momentum. Then I suddenly realize I am not keeping up with the speed of the wheel. My foot trips and I am swinging upside down on the wheel and getting dizzy. Ah-ha! The break-neck speed has caught me by the toe. I am in a spin.

When time allows for a slower pace I am wondering what is missing, count my chicklings and check the stability of my realm. Yes, once again I sit looking at the hamster wheel feeling invincable, super hero strength and tell myself I can do it. Is it the rush of break-neck speed that I miss or just the rush from the challenge of the task.

Sarah's Song

The smell of her hair, warm and sweet

I breathe calmly from the touch of her feet.

Crawling into my comfort, fluffy bed.

Gives one to wonder what is going through her head.

Singing in sorrow, singing in sighs,

Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

Sizing up strength, pulling the rope.

Pushing one, looking for and questioning hope.

Getting to the core of it she tears it open,

Making a small sound of loss then learning and coping.

Singing in sorrow, Singing in sighs,

Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

The gentle compassion, she lets out the door,

surprises and comforts those hearts left on the floor.

Should she give in or give more?

Singing in sorrow, singing in sighs,

Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

Leading, laughing in musical tones,

she's got the strength of an amazon deep in her bones.

Unscathed on the outside, her armour is steel,

inside her sits a heart broken and real.

Singing in sorrow, singing in sighs,
Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

Tell her to look at the horizon,

have faith strong child,

there stays in your path the wind of the wild.

It will carry your heart and make you smile.

Singing in sorrow, singing in sighs,

Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

Find that minute, take a deep breath,

Choose your battle, but take your rest.

Don't run too fast than your body can take.

Relish the idea of all your power and stake.

Singing in sorrow, singing in sighs,

Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

Journey with me, sometimes taking the helm.

Know what talents and strengths you carry and have,

Will serve you well.

Singing in sorrow, singing in sighs,

Looking at her and what hides in her eyes.

Fill your sail, clean your deck.

Prepare yourself, go give 'em heck!

Your map is in your heart, seek out its treasures.

Give time each day to reflect and to measure.

Step carefully, watch for your mark, listen and hark.

You are the captain of your soul!

Mirrors in my path

I have been faced with mirrors in my path. Some small and some large. Covering the entire horizon. Vast. Cracked, smoked, and some unclear.

I am the mirror of my children, my work and my world. I have been the reflection of what I have manifested. I have set the mirrors in my path to know and to realize. Who would have thought that these very mirrors would have been the stumbling blocks and the obstacles that I have by-passed before. Divine and eternal.

I see myself in a new light. I see my children with compassion as I see myself.
I see the gray, I see the importance of each view, each moment of actualization in myself and my world.

I am grateful for the other things that influence my thoughts. My own Mom, my chance to sit on my porch and hear the owl hoot, the reflection in silence and in sound.

Who was that woman in the mirror? Who was that child? What is she seeking? Who does she see? Is it me? The real me? The reality of what others see or what I struggle to clarify? Affirmations shed to the side and bounce around in an empty mind of wonder.

I am here. I am mindful. I am present. I wonder what will tomorrow's reflection be like. How will it ripple to others? How will it settle when the water is settled in its' turbulence.

What happens when the storm is still? Is it to mean something more? Should more come? Should I be protected, prepared or should I allow the storm to roll over us like a wave of a strong current on a tropical beach, under tow or just a gentle tug?

To gray or not to gray? That is the question. Much of who we are is in how we see ourselves. Finding the peace and comfort in all that we portray.

I am sure I have left a trail, a legacy in my path. I am grateful for that. I am sure that that legacy has been scattered with mirrors along the way.

Size, Shape, Emotion and especially the imprint of what I had hoped for. Transitions are best served in front of a mirror.
Standing in front of a mirror. Embracing the contrast of self esteem and actuality. Looking deeply into the motion of life and the intention and passion of work. Knowing what is best and what is real for a flashing moment. I am puzzled that more do no profess the mirrors in their life and in their humanity. Haven't heard from my family and guides about how it has given them introspect.

None-the-less I will continue to stare and examine the image, the person, the personage in the mirror to make it all that I am. The complete definition of who, what, where and why. The "How" may still escape me but I am hopeful.