Even with a deep breath, I couldn't make it feel like before. I knew instinctively that there was no turning back. I would never feel the same as I did just a few days ago. Everything was a bit different, my skin, my eyes, my breath. Yet there was this familiar part of this new feeling, this feeling of change. I have been in this change seat many times before. Change from child to young adult, from student to teacher then back to student again. Change from single to married to divorced. Change from fragile to strong then back to fragile again. Change from standing, to moving forward. I feel the reeling in my stand, like a pendulum in the master's hand. Circling and waving to the vibration of the Universe's signals. Back and forth, swinging with the tides of each new moon.
Partially by need, partially by inner drive, the change has come around and I am now standing in it with a full conscious awareness, hearing "it is about time"! When I knew the change was coming I put it off, I lamented in it and hoping the lamenting would buy me time to avoid the pain. Like the perfect parent of a child's journey, I was promptly guided to step forward. I was terribly afraid to breathe, open my eyes and my heart. The Universe gently affirmed me, "That's right. You are exactly where you chose to be, and for this purpose, you have come to now." My unconscious knows this deeply, nodding my head, I peered out of one eye, then opened the other shyly. Frightened by what I might see. I saw the same view I had before the change, now it felt different. It felt fearless, and completely obtainable. Well within my power because my knowing had changed to be a knowing of comfort that the Universe was behind me 100% with all it's love and all of its power. That power that was mine, there all along and designed for my journey, my joy and my bliss! "There isn't any holding back now, Ann! It is just as you asked. You had the power all along. Your fear was just that, the fear of your own power!"
There were those pangs of fear, anxiety and worry about how this would actually work. I longed to know what it would be like. I longed to have a vision for what would come. I wanted the vision immediately so that I could use that as my inner GPS system and ignore the inner dialogue running around in my skull. Breathing into the vision is my daily task, breathing life into this, to ensure that it grows, that I am working and doing my part to ensure my life's mission, my life plan. This is the point, to be able to complete the agreement of my soul and my highest good. Change the world, to make it lighter, brighter, softer and gentler. Accepting the human condition and fragility, recognizing the inner me, the inner you. Taking that breath and knowing the soul's intention and desire is more than what most can ever articulate. Guiding us to find that soul's desire, reaching into the deepest darkest parts of the human condition to bring it up into the light. deep from within the well of our society's empty places. Empty places created by judgment, power and greed. When we sit and listen still to the inner voice, recognize the message, we can recognize the pattern of the signal of our inner radio guidance system, we are then able to tune in and resonate with the frequency of a higher message and a higher call.
Sometimes the energy of this frequency may seem unfamiliar. It is the energetic resonance of the highest good, the Universal creator. It may seem foreign or scattering to our earthly frequencies of thought and knowing. Finding the quiet place and showering in it is making time for Divine Feminine power. Ground in this moment. Breathing into my vision and dreams and soul's agreement.
Being present there, here, all at once in the vastness of this experience. I am.
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