Just being

So this morning I awoke at 1:30 and felt like there was something I was supposed to do. I wasn't sure what it was so I just laid there thinking about my day the the random thoughts that darted in and out of my consciousness. I know the heaviness of my sinus infection was bothering me all night. I knew there wasn't enough water at my bedside to drink. I knew that today had to be something short of miraculous to have caused me to be so alert. I was excited.

I knew that the dog needed food, the car needed gas, the laundry needed folding, the floors needed a good sweeping. But what else was it that I was supposed to know? For that moment in time, the house was quiet. The world seemed safe from my view of the bedroom. I sat back with my back to the headboard. My feet were warm and toasty. I love that feeling. Cozy. I could hear the furnace kick on and the air blow through the vents in the floor. I could hear the stuffy breathing from my own nose. My mind was sharp and alert but I couldn't find the point of focus.

I thought about the warmth of the covers, the coolness of the night air that surrounded my home. I thought that it could have been one of those moments when I needed to check on my kids. Like the teacher and parent I have always been I felt a need to do a head count. Crawling out of be I realized the floor creaks under my feet. The dog raised his head to see where I was heading but remained at the foot of my bed, too warm to arise with me. Can't blame him really. He, like most animals must have had the sense of knowing that all was well.

I checked on the five year old, the 14 year old and of course the thirteen year old. All was well. All were in a warm bed breathing and dreaming their night away. They are safe and sound.

I turn to head back upstairs to bed and there it was, that sound that I only hear when I am moving slow enough up the stairs. the creak of my right knee. At each step and each bend I heard it. It feels like little bubbles in my knee. Just getting squeezed out and around with each step. "That my dear", I tell myself, "is your good knee!". The one that hasn't had three surgeries! I know it is there but don't hear it often. Maybe because I move to fast, or my world is too noisy. Maybe because I forget that I make noise even in my quietest times. Yes that is it!

Knowing my noise, hearing my self, identifying the things that make me...me! I reach the top of the stairs and crawl back into my warm bed. The dog doesn't move. The covers are still warm. My chilled toes are welcomed by the body heat that remained. Sigh! A sense of comfort, calm and safety for the moment. The best place to be. Just be. Listening, thinking and knowing that all is well and everything will work out. I will be. All will be. Trusting the Universe.

Thankful for my life, my loves, my family and especially for the knowing in this moment.