Defining Moments to a woman!

There I was having breakfast with one of my dearest friends. We were catching up on the latest in each others lives and it happened. Yes that infamous moment when we broke into the all-time champion girl topic that revisits our lives from the moment we were first awarded the piece of our wardrobe that defined us in so many ways.

It happened the last time we were together eating breakfast and catching up. It also happened the time before that as we both acknowledged our epiphany into ourselves. Yes at 45 I am still learning. Learning about myself, about my world and about the things that I rely on to define me, myself and I.

At that time I can only imagine it was near the age of two or so. The cotton soft briefs that were awarded to me so graciously by my Mom. Little do we know as Moms and as women of the impact that first pair of underpants has on us. This is the moment of responsibility. The moment of ownership and the place of rank in the world of "big girls" in our life. Can you remember them? Were they colored? Were they white cotton Hanes? Were they adorned with cartoon characters of a playful nature? Did the have ruffles sewn across the bottom? Hmm, what was Mom thinking when she purchased them? What was I thinking when they became mine...all mine! The big girl panties! No more diapers!

I found myself standing in front of my dresser drawers, open, with a pile of lace facing me. Wondering what I would like to wear today. Underwear, panties briefs and bikinis. Wow! You have come a long way baby! Those whom have known me for the past twenty or more years, know all to well the evolution that has occurred in my life. Many evolutions but to those closest and "in the know"...The creation of a species or underwear user/consumer that has defined my being to some degree. That definition that has been large and small, modest and immodest. From cotton white training pants, jockey briefs, Hanes bikinis, Mormon underwear, to the lace and comfort of panties that is now what makes me smile.

Why is she smiling? How is it that panties can be so defining? They are just underwear right? Isn't it that necessary piece of undergarments that we prescribe to in our modern society and culture? It is truly not that big of a deal. Or is it?

In gender roles, dances and games, the donning of a sexy piece of underwear signals to the spouse/partner that our sexuality and femininity is "on" and open for business. Shattering, I know. Why is it that women allow their femininity to be like a duty, a uniform for others to appreciate? Rather than for themselves. Allowing permission to be feminine in select moments of our lives. Our honeymoon, an anniversary, a birthday, a holiday. How is it that it has to be a special event to adorn our calendar before we can adorn ourselves in trappings of femininity? Should this be so? Who decides this?

Can we just break free and see that this femininity was all ours, twenty-four hours a day seven days a week? Not just for a special occasion, and event but for us, our enjoyment and our journey. Would you think of crossing the desert without air conditioning? Then why wouldn't we live everyday in the gift of our femininity? Relishing the gift we have. That only we have! Women! Girls! How lucky can we get? Curves and lines, smooth and bumps and all! I think it is wonderous! Seems so silly that I have lived in this body for so long and not recognized it for what it was. Packaging of what it is, for who it makes me and for the beauty that defines each of us women.

So back to the big girl panties...I had the honor of knowing a woman that I once worked with that taught me a great motto. She herself was struggling with some intense challenges of raising two daughters, one of whom was deaf, all the while she battled an advanced stage of breast cancer. Once in the office we were talking about how things had become so distorted in our own perceptions of what we thought life should be and how much we had allowed this dissatisfaction effect our days and lives. She had brought in a card to share. The card had a picture of a little girls cryng on the front of the card. the outside of the card read, "Sometimes life is terribly wrong and nothing goes right." Inside the card it read "Just put on your big girl panties and get over it!". Yes we laughed so hard till we cried. It was just what I had to think through. My perceptions of myself and my life seemed so awful. We commesurated and got back to work.

So here it is the first "school night" and the kids and I are sad to see summer go. The teens are complaining about the fact they have to go back to school. I have to go back to work and yet another day goes by all over the world. Loving myself, my children, my life and my gifts. I am loving my big girl panties and what they mean to me. I am grateful for my femininity and the chance I have to celebrate it in mindfulness and consciously. I will get up tomorrow pick my big girl panties out of my drawer, put them on and say to myself..."Get over it! It will be a terrific day!!".

For the moment dancing in your underwear is an okay thing to do!