Shaping up?

We have come a long way. I remember where I was the day it happened. Yes, standing in my classroom thinking it was unreal. I was scared.

Today I am not scared but still able to feel the specific type of fear.

I know I have been shaped by the events that have occurred in my life. I know there is purpose in every moment.

I remember the moment the Audiologist told me Maggie was deaf.

I remember the moment of realizing I was pregnant with her. Then again with Rachael and with Sarah. I remember the moment they were born. I remember having this vision of who they were to become at the moment I pushed them out. That was a blessing for me. That moment and vision helped me hold a vision for who they needed to become. Who I needed to be to ensure they had the best Mom for that journey.

Now seeing them shaping up into the women I was granted a vision for makes me thankful, humbled and a bit scared of the strength I need to have to carry on.

There are those times when we look back and shake our head. If I had only known then what I know now! Would we have done things differently? Would our choices have been different?

Why was I gifted the vision of who the kids would become if in fact I was highly likely to make the choices I have made? I wouldn't have changed a thing about them. I would have only asked myself to be more aware, more attuned, more receptive, to listen better, to think more concisely.

No it is all good! No doubts in that! Despite the scrapped knees and hard knocks, I wouldn't change a thing.

I want to love deeper, listen closer, breathe slower, think clearer, hug longer, celebrate more and cherish the gifts. Like the stories or analogies of the rock, rough and jagged, being rolled down the hill. I am that rock. rolling, bumping into other rocks, chipping away my rough edges, being hewn into a smooth more perfect form.

It has been a long week. I am glad it is Friday. I know I will work at making sure the vision I have for myself and my children is in my mind this weekend so that I can love deeper, listen closer, breathe slower, think clearer, hug longer, celebrate more and cherish much!

Like any fine metal...the fire removes its impurities. Shining like 14 kt.!